I work in a hell-hole PERIOD. It doesn’t matter that some people are nice. It’s irrelevant that I have a small group of friends there that will remains friends long after I’ve left. The fact that I have an enormous amount of respect and appreciation for my boss doesn’t negate the reality that I hate this place. We are a fallen dynasty living in glass chambers which will soon be as diminished and faded as Lucent or IBM Computers. I don’t care about the power many here crave or the perceived accolades or face time with big honchos. I’m here because I’m a sell-out. Two decades ago I opted for a life style that wasn’t easily dismantled once you have a family depending on you. They’ve had a nice life and I’m happy to have helped provide it. In a couple of years the last college student will have graduated – not counting her desire to go immediately into graduate school. That means in the next 2 to 3 years, I’ll be free of why I’ve stayed in Corporate America long after I lost the stomach for it. I believe I’m going to re-invent my life one more time before I retire, hopefully very early, from the daily grind that is devouring copious amounts of my soul.
Ideas of reinvention range from liquidating all assets and dropping off the grid to live on a small self-sustaining farm somewhere ala River Cottage (forum) to opening a quaint bakery in a small no-name town. Do you remember teachers telling you that the career you choose should be the one you’d do for free? I’m either too jaded or I’ve grown to see the falseness of that statement. I started the journey after college closer to that ideal then quickly learned that life isn’t free. Hence, baring charity, there’s nothing that I’d do for free. But if I could do anything – if all possibilities were within my grasp what would I choose to do? I’d write. I’d earn a living writing. Other than that, I’d cook or bake; my second loves and why I always cook in games. While surfing the internet for a writer’s retreat I ran across a series of linked posts which sparked the idea for this post. People were describing their fantasy writing retreats and used them as visualizations when they were stressed or feeling blocked. This is a cool idea and can be extended to describe any retreat in general. I’m going to describe mine and I invite anyone who’s up for a little escapism to join in.
Escape I – The Writing Retreat
I’m in a small white-washed cottage with pale blue shutters and trim. The yard is a perfect English garden. The backdrop of deep greens trees and bushes are infused with bright red, soft pink and lavender hued flowers. Cobbled paths and hickory strewn trails lead to small seating areas with curved stone benches, trickling bird baths and weathered statues. The daytime temperature is always 75 degrees. Cooling breezes rustle the leaves leaving a hint of Jasmine and Honeysuckle behind. Chirping birds are plenty. Butterflies flit in the distance. Creepy-crawlies and annoying insects such as mosquitoes, spiders, snakes, slugs and lizards do not exist in this world.
I start the day eating freshly baked scones with Devonshire cream, scrambled egg whites and smoked bacon. This breakfast is delivered to my door at precisely the right moment, which is after I’ve started the water boiling for tea. The interior of the cottage is small but functional – shabby chic in pastels with cozy seating by numerous windows that overlook the garden. After breakfast I spend a couple of hours writing followed by a long meandering walk. I stop in to visit my neighbors. On occasion I’m encouraged to and accept, invitations for lunch. A few times a month I reciprocate by having them over for dinner. Once a month I host a lavish dinner for family willing to make the trip out to my retreat.
I spend my afternoons alternating between tending the flowers, shopping when needed, calling friends and family, doing laundry or tidying up before I nap for an hour or two. After dinner, I write until my brain goes mush. Around midnight I surf the internet to catch up on my favorite sites and blogs. I listen to music and have a glass of wine. Sated with the satisfaction of a calm, well ordered and successful day, I drift off to sleep.
Escape II – The Achievable Dream
I run my own eating establishment of some sort. It’s a coffee shop, bakery or small eatery. I’m in a small town or big city that has a small town area. Think Naperville or Evanston if you know Chicago-land. Think college town if you don't. I live above the shop to keep my financial needs small. I have a large patio or porch upstairs and access to a private garden below. During the day I manage the shop – cooking, handling customers, ordering, etc. Whenever there is a lull I retreat to my office overlooking the garden to write. I either live near my family or my best friends. I spend some evenings with them relaxing and unwinding from the day. Once a month I host brunch followed by board games or a murder mystery. In the evenings I write. I finish a second collection of poems for my kids. I finish my fantasy novel. I complete my sci-fi novella trilogy. The latter two are published. I have my sixty seconds of fame and all is right in my world.
What the teacher probably should have said was that the career you choose should be the one you’d do for fun. Not free.
Fun doesn't mean free. It just means that if you enjoy doing something and can make a decent living with it then why do anything else?
Jason (resident drunken idiot of Channel Massive)
Posted by: Jason | August 06, 2008 at 10:36 AM
I wish you the best of luck with whatever choice you end up making.
I've been working for what was once a small company, and is now a thriving semi corporate environment. At first it was like a good episode of Cheers, now, it's a dog eat dog environment based on manipulation and misinformation; The type of place where you never get paid what you are worth until you are literally caught surfing job postings online. Then you get labeled "troublemaker" or "ingrate" So I think I have an idea of where you're coming from. Perhaps not since I have only been doing this for the past 5 years.
Having lived in the Chicago area for most of my young adult life, before moving to Michigan, I can appreciate a town like Naperville. Great place :)
Posted by: Wolfgangdoom | August 06, 2008 at 01:52 PM
Nice post! For whatever reason, I've been having a lot of those fantasies myself lately. I'm a corporate goon in IT at the moment but my mind seems to drift daily to things I'd love to do instead or just places I'd rather be. Like you, I like the people I work with and for, I just don't much care for the work I do. I'm a creative person and yet most of what I do is little more complex than shoveling coal into a train's boiler in those old western movies.
I think my idea writing retreat would be in the mountains. I'd live in a cabin, not a log cabin, though that would be neat, but a stone house - like it was part of the mountain itself; and every day I could peer through the woods and watch the sunrise light the mountains. The house would be simple, a couple good-sized windows, fireplace, bed, basic tables and chairs. All natural stuff though - no pressboard junk. There would be deep water running nearby - not so close or swiftly-flowing to be noisy and drown out the sounds of birds or wind but close enough that if I concentraited I could feel its rumble. I'd write most of the day except the morning and evening so I could hike. (Much like yours though: no bugs!) :)
The realistic escape is what I'm still working on. I think owning a tavern would be neat. Or maybe running my own tech business again (with more artsy / development stuff than maintaining things).
Best of luck in your reinvention!
Posted by: Khan | August 06, 2008 at 02:09 PM
@Jason - Not sure I believe that anymore either. *sigh* I'm beyond jaded and burned out. I've known some very talented artistic friends who turned their loves into careers and now they hate both. A couple don't even practice their craft outside of work anymore. One of them is very talented and I often find myself shaking my head at what a pity it is for them. There's such a heightened level of stress and angst everywhere in our society. That or I know a lot of workaholics like myself - birds of a feather flocking and so my perception is that this is the general situation.
@Wolf - I LOVED Naperville for having the best of both worlds. It was conveniently located, had access to all the big brand stores and restaurants galore! Yet many of the communities where enclosed subdivisions with parks, tree-lines streets and that small town feel. The Riverwalk area was interesting and diverse, making it a nice hang out for younger people. Yep, I sure miss that place. I wanted to stay there but once I bailed out of Lucent, I couldn't stomach the 1.5 hrs drive each way that quickly turned to 2.5+ hrs when the snow started. *sniff*
Posted by: Saylah | August 06, 2008 at 05:22 PM
@Kahn - sounds pretty sweet! Not sure I could do the mountains since I'm not a big fan of cold. My first two years in Chicago I swore I'd be gone before another winter hit. I got caught having to dig my car out at the airport after a nice little blizzard and dumped a mountain of snow while I was away on my first business trip after moving there. That was enough to sour me on the place for a while. But spring came, I met great people, loved my job back then and ended up staying 12 years.
I totally feel ya about being creative and doing geek work. When it's good it's great and when it ain't...
Posted by: Saylah | August 06, 2008 at 05:32 PM
I was in a similar situation as yourself when I worked in the corporate world. I left went on my won for a year an reentered to get a behind the scenes experience working for charities. The last charity I worked for I stayed only 10 months. My boss was incompetent had no idea about computer programming and was trying to tell me what to do. I love that!
I work for myself full-time. I create and sell natural skin care products. I also write, and have monetized three of my ten websites. Those have become a great source of passive income, and it's doing something I enjoy helping others with topics I enjoy (fitness, nutrition, alternative healing, and Macs.) Initially it wasn't easy I definitely put in more time then I did when I worked out of the home but now it has definitely paid off.
Wishing you the best in pursuing your dream and turning it into a reality. :-)
Posted by: Gaming Diva | August 06, 2008 at 06:59 PM
@Diva - Wow, that's wonderful. It sounds like a very interesting diversity of things you have going which must keep things challenging.
Posted by: Saylah | August 06, 2008 at 08:41 PM
The thing about work is, it is supposed to be.. well, work. So thats why we have spare time to relax read/write books, enjoy theater or movies, MMOs for escapism and distraction. We are far, far better off than almost all human civilization before us. Better health, longer lives, more amenities. Living off the "small shop owner" fantasy is certainly a good thing to do. It channels frustration in a sort of pressure release valve.
Good thing is, as I live in Europe, we have something called "part time job". You actually quit 20% - 50% of your office time, get paid less and have more spare time. How does that sound?
Posted by: Drugh | August 07, 2008 at 01:26 AM
"I've known some very talented artistic friends who turned their loves into careers and now they hate both"
That's why I've always dismissed that cliche teacher advice. It never rang true to me, even when I first heard it in high school. I take a job because it's a way to support my family and contribute something to society. I keep my loves and hobbies as separate from my career as possible, so as not to sully them by crass commercialism and the appalling need to turn every waking moment to finding ways to exploit my talents and turn them into money.
It's nice to like what I do for a job, so I don't burn out, but mixing business with pleasure is a recipe for ruining both.
Posted by: Tesh | August 07, 2008 at 03:14 PM
I don't mind work being work. I mind work being hell and there is a difference. :-) It is what it is and I stay for the money right now. It just feels more like blood money as time goes on.
I have thought about saying that I want to go part-time. I think they'd go for it for me not to jump ship but it wouldn't work. We have summer hours where you take a half day each week. I've been able to do it once since it started in May. I can't get away for a half day a week, how in the world would part-time work out? It wouldn't. *sigh*
Posted by: Saylah | August 07, 2008 at 10:28 PM
@Saylah,
I enjoy it immensely all those things have been a part of my life since I was a child so turning it into a business was the easy part.
Funny thing is I really don't see myself as doing "work" now since it's these are things I did daily when I was away from work. The only difference is now I get paid for it. The beauty of it is, I don't have to factor in the added drama that occasionally comes into play working out of the home. To be fair I have worked at a few jobs where I had the exact same feeling (my job did not feel like "work".) I was doing something I enjoyed and had an excellent group of co-workers. I've wanted to work for myself since I was eight years old. I'm happy that I was able to turn my dream into a reality. I am the toughest boss I've ever had. ;-)
The first year and a half going full-time was challenging in the fact that I had to fit all those pieces together you know?
Spending time with my five year old daughter, running my business, covering the bills, and dealing with the occasional relative/friend that thought I must not be doing anything since I had my own business, lol. The bills were covered, but I did make mistakes when it came to managing my time. I did too much. That's under control now although I still deal with the occasional family member that thinks I have all the time in the world, lol. ;-)
Posted by: Gaming Diva | August 08, 2008 at 06:59 AM
I agree with a lot of what you said.
My job pays very well, but I really struggle to work up any enthusiasm for it.
How I would love to pull the plug on it and do something more interesting, but a little voice keeps pointing at the money, and telling me it would be a foolish thing to do.
Posted by: *vlad* | August 08, 2008 at 08:14 AM