It may soon be time for my sustained forays into virtual worlds to take a back seat. When purely honest moments materialize, I realize that not all of my current gaming apathy is WOW's lack of endurance for casual players, nor is it a complete dearth of alternatives. Could it be - yet I dare to say it, time to move on from the desire to find so much pleasure in these fantasy worlds and once again embrace real life? I need to get back to writing and let go of the drive-by and passive experience of MMORPGs. I've wrestled with this dilemma for quite some time. I've never really made up my mind about which writing venue I really want to pursue - novels, short stories, plays. All I know for sure is that it would be fantasy. But just as I'm on the brink of deciding, I say to myself, "Eh, go play a game and have some fun. Isn't life enough work?" I have no real chance of changing careers. I've already done that twice and at my age, you don't get many do-overs. One kid in college and my son entering next year, financial suicide isn't an option. Huge career risks are equally off limits. Although on a daily basis, I silently threaten to throw it all away, and go live in a cabin in the woods.
I'm a trice published author of technical gobbility-gook. Isn't that enough? I should just rededicate myself to work (employed by a telcom giant), increase my 401K contributions and call it a day. Deciding it's all down hill from here would let me work the long hours with less friction, come home to my family in the evening and spend whatever leisure time I can squeeze-out whacking things in MMO bliss. Sometimes I think, "Yeah, let's slide down the hill without a fight." Other times I say, "Never can tell. You beat the big "C", so all bets are off. You can do it, if you really want it."
Looking at the clock I see that it's nearing midnight. I consider the long day ahead. I know that having less than an optimal amount of sleep makes me even more evil than usual at work. I won't be making any decisions tonight, but I've been thinking...
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